So... I'm now looking at the sky trying to catch a shooting star... or maybe then I'll buy a birthday cake... or maybe I'll find a genie lamp... come on you gotta give me something... something to hold onto... something that can give me a little ray of light... that tiny bit of hope...
I wish I have all the answers to her questions... or maybe a special bandage that could repair all the damage inside her... maybe in a cookie fortune... those little cookies with a weird note saying that everything its gonna be OK... because I don't know... don't know if that big cut bleeding inside you its going to stop...
Maybe big hands...or maybe if I was a doctor... maybe I could have a medicine that can cure a broken heart... those little things inside of us that keep us going... once they are broken there's no way back to be the person we were...
I feel so impotent... I wish I had the perfect words... the perfect gestures... the perfect... anything that can help you carry this huge burden... maybe that big shield big enough for the two of us to let all the sadness outside... like in the movies...
I wish I was a screenplay writer or director... that way I could give you that happy endings you are desperately looking for... Hollywood always fucked us... they always prepared us for those happy endings that never comes in real life...
But there's nothing... so I'll keep looking at the sky... watching airplanes pass by... buying birthday cakes and blowing at candles... looking everywhere for that genie lamp from Aladdin... keep watching my hands as they stay the same... keep reading hoping to find some words... looking for that shield knowing that it'll never work and watching stupid movies with those happy endings that end with a cruel "cut! its a wrap" at the 20th century fox... I can't give you the answers you need right know or the perfect words... but I can offer you company silence or forgettable laughter... comfort hugs and big kisses on your forehead to keep u calm...an arm that you can punch or hold when you need it... and the certainty that although you feel so lonely right now... there's a person in this world that isn't going to leave you alone and its looking everywhere for that little special moment where God grant me the honor to make my wish come true.
4/10/12
JRF
